I was reading my cousins' blogs yesterday and it got me thinking...their blogs are all about how wonderfully their kids get along and all the sweet, fun things they do together...on the other hand, it seems like my kids are always fighting! Buttercup (11) is always trying to play mother to Sunshine (5) and trying to make her do things she doesn't want to do (although it is at times what I want her to do), and she does not like that at all. If Buttercup is not playing mommy, she is cross and ornery with Sunshine. Sunshine is usually taking toys and blankets away from Bug ("but mommy, it's mine", although she hasn't looked at it or touched it in weeks)Bug is always hitting Sunshine, and round and round it goes. I am really starting to see the "middle child syndrome", so I tend to do more one-on-one stuff with Sunshine (if I am going to the store, I take her with me. If I have Pack Meeting, she comes with me. If I am going to visit my family in Logan and the other kids aren't coming, I take Sunshine, etc.etc.).
Now, don't get me wrong, there are occasions where they get along great, those occasions are just few and far between. BUT, I read an article a while back that gave me ideas on how to (somewhat subliminally) remedy these problems. The website has an article about creating a mission statement and a catch phrase for your family, and then suggestions for how to get that catch phrase to stick.
One of the things I am going to do is put a big sign in my girls' room that says, "SISTERS" and then I am going to take some fun photos of them doing fun things together, or just looking cute together.
Today is now Tuesday and last night for FHE I read two paragraphs from the Proclamation on the Family, the two that talk about the roles of parents and how we should raise our children in love and service and how to have happiness in the home. So we talked about how we can serve each other and show our love for each other. I also spoke with Buttercup about how she should handle situations in which she is "mothering" Sunshine...she should come to me if she thinks Sunshine needs to be corrected or to find out if it's ok for her to do something (unless it's an emergency and there is danger of Sunshine or others getting hurt by her actions). I think it went well and this morning has gone much smoother. Buttercup suggested that we make it a goal to not fight for a whole week. I suggested that we start out with one day (baby steps;o), so far so good...wish me luck!
Monday, September 8, 2008
Family Marketing Plan?
Posted by Stop and smell the Daisies at 4:03 PM
Labels: blogs, contention, FHE, happiness, Proclamation, Sisters
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3 comments:
good luck! You've got some great ideas going.
My guess is that your cousin just chooses to post the "get along" moments. I'm sure they have their share of the "spirit of contention" and chaos in their home too. We all do.
Great ideas. We all have times like that. I think it is part of being in a family. Kids learn how to work things out and they always test things with their families. Unfortunately, we often treat those we love the most the worse because we know they will always be there for us regardless. We have found, however, that it is so important to not just let these things slide by thinking they are 'normal' and will take care of themselves. We can use these moments to help teach them the importance of how to treat those they love. When our kids start to treat each other unkindly we remind them that their brothers/sisters are their best friends and the only friends that will always be there. There were a few times when they had to stop playing with their friends because they were treating each other unkindly. They know if they do not treat each other nicely they will not play with others because they need to treat each other with respect and love to earn the privilege of playing with other friends. It helps also to find something that they enjoy doing with each other and giving them opportunities to do those things together to have fun with each other. I think they need those constant reminders to not just be nice but WHY it is important to be nice. You are doing great, I am sure! It is always easy to see how well you think others are doing but you don't see all their struggles too. Don't judge yourself so harshly and others so easily! We are all working at this and can help each other with ideas and support!
Boy, I remember me and my sister having some serious issues. We fought a lot. 2 years apart. She drove me absolutely crazy sometimes. It's wierd to think back on it now that I am older. We have some good talks about it. even though we fought a lot, we did a lot of things together too. Like eat chocolate chip cookie dough and watch all the old time movies. I have a lot of fond memories. Sisters...they truly are special.
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