Well, I have had a much better day today! I obviously just needed to cry it all out!
I talked to my friend who said she could sense that I was depressed and I told her what happened yesterday. I basically explined to her what I put in my blog yesterday and the two of us came up with the answer to my question of "why" I wanted to cry.
For as long as I can remember, my bouts of depression have seldom lasted longer than a few hours, or a day or two. I will go along feeling great for several months, and then I will have a "depression session", which I typically get over in a short period of time. I probably stuff my feelings, anything that bothers me, shrug off anything that goes wrong, until one day one little thing brings it all to the front and I fall apart. We decided that I choose to save all my negative emotions and let them out all at once, rather than be depressed every day for all the little things...It makes sense to me. I would much rather have one day of depression and 30days of happiness than 31 days of depression. I hope I can get to where the depression disappears all together, but I think I will have to wait for the Millennium before that happens. Life is full of challenges and I choose to only throw tantrums about them on occasion...I prefer my tantrums to be events, rather than daily habits.
It's a cycle...some turns are short and some turns are long, but round and round it goes!
Monday, September 22, 2008
And Round It Goes...
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1 comments:
I don't know if you remember the Color Code, but what you described was a classic White Personality. Same as me (and Michelle, for that matter), same as dad, and same as Mark.
Sometimes those "depression sessions" seem unavoidable. At times everything wrong in life builds up inside of us and we don't realize that even if we don't remember the event or the circumstances, it gets filed away in our emotional brains.
But if you're paying attention you can see when they are on their way; and the best time to avoid them is when they aren't anywhere near.
What I told my sister-in-law the other day is that when something bad or negative comes up, don't avoid it... replace it with positive thoughts or actions.
That's not to say everything negative should not be experienced--everyone needs to have a good cry now and then--but be sure that you're crying for the right reason and not because you've let your emotional brain get overloaded.
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