I'm not sure why, but I am feeling a little blue today (maybe that is why my blog color changed--it's like a mood ring!). I guess it started when I was posting my earlier blog. I suddenly had a wave of vertigo. It was stronger than I have ever experienced before. After that I felt nauseous, so my hubby suggested I take something for a headache, in case I was getting a migraine, which I didn't think I was, but I took his advice and broke my fast. Since then I just haven't felt right. I was starting to feel better at church, but then (I'm embarrassed to say, because it shows how selfish I am), I was asked to help in Nursery during Relief Society and I really didn't want to do it, because I have subbed in Primary 5 of the last 6 weeks and I was really looking forward to RS but, since I can't say no, I did it anyway, just not with a very joyful heart. Nursery wasn't so bad, I was kind of starting to feel ok again, and then after church I was asked to sub in Primary again next week (for someone who's team teacher just doesn't want to cover for her next week, even though she will be there), and since I can't say no, I am subbing again next week. I just want to cry! Am I just being selfish?
I'm sure I will feel better tomorrow, but until then, I just want to go to sleep...sleep always helps me feel better when I am depressed.
This post seems ironic after the one I posted this morning...I need to SNAP OUT OF IT!
Sunday, June 1, 2008
I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say NO...How Depressing!
Posted by Stop and smell the Daisies at 4:16 PM
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5 comments:
I guess I talked to the right person because I no longer have to sub on Sunday (at least not yet). I am good friends with the partner of the teacher who asked me, so I said, "Are you sure you don't want to teach your primary class on Sunday? Because I don't. At first she didn't know what I was talking about, but when I explained it to her she told me not to worry about it, she would take care of it.
I'm wondering if I need to set some boundaries and tell people I will only sub on certain Sundays, like twice a month. But then, if it was me needing a sub, I would certainly want someone to say yes when I ask them...I'm not sure what to do.
Boundaries are a really good thing. I'm just glad that I'm in YWs and don't have to deal with much subing stuff.
As a side note, I've been going to bed earlier because Talon is waking up earlier for his shift. I'm not sure if I can keep walking that late. I'll let you know if this changes.
It is always SO hard to figure out when to say no. As I get older though, it is getting easier. Or maybe I am just getting meaner. :) Sometimes it is good to let other people have the opportunity to sub. You can spread the joy a little bit instead of doing it all by yourself? I don't know, I dont' have it figured out either.
From someone that comes from a position in the presidency where we often find ourselves without teachers at the last minute, I have to tell you how much we love and appreciate those that willingly say yes when we ask in desperation to help sub. I know I feel so bad asking people because many people see us coming or they see our number on their caller ID and they either run the other way or don't answer their phone. I try so hard to ask different people. All too often we are told no by so many people until we fall back on those faithful few who accept with a smile. You are loved and appreciated even if this is not conveyed. I know we could always do better at showing our gratitude to these humble ones who graciously accept and love to help. My husband and I have had numerous discussions about serving in the church especially with his demanding calling at this time even though we have no children in that age range. We always reflect on the great blessings that come from serving and we find ourselves saying, "We know there will be someone there for our children when they are that age and we want to serve just as we would like someone to serve for our children." I know it is hard to sub but it can be so worth it if we remember the real reason we are serving in whatever capacity it may be...we really are showing our love to our Savior by doing those things to help His children. I understand your frustration...please know you are appreciated. It may take years to realize how much it has meant to someone and we may never know but take comfort in the fact that there are always countless blessings for our service. I sure hope you are feeling better!
I struggle with the "No" bounderies all too often. Ken and I have recently decided to set some ground rules not only to protect ourselves but our kids too. I have a hard time saying no to anyone but then I whine about how much I hate it..then I hate myself for being whiny. So if I set some bounderies first then I don't have to beat myself up...this is just the way it is!
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